[asc]

About four years ago, I had counselling to help me deal with things relating to caring for my mother before her death, and also some guilt from nursing days. I felt led to write the things for which I wanted forgiveness, tie it round a black stone and throw it into the pond at Burrswood.

I'm now having counselling for other issues - partly my reaction to the word 'redundant', and I have raised my great fear of people going behind my back to complain about me. I have often been accused of being aggressive, when I think I have merely been "calling a spade a spade." People have been afraid to bring their disagreements to me, when what I want is to discuss them logically. We discussed this, and what amounts to 'verbal bullying' I have received at work, and also, for different reasons, at school. However, much verbal bullying etc. relates to nursing days.

The question is, do I raise this in counselling? I suppose what I laid to rest previously were the situations where I was at fault, and I haven't dealt with the other side of things.

I think, again, that because my family didn't socialise, I didn't learn at the appropriate time how to present negative things in a non-threatening way. I also only discovered in my last few years at work that some people really have no concept for "plan" and no amount of nagging them can get them to plan, so I may need to work out a compromise to achieve the result. I've tried recently to use 'assertiveness training' techniques, and things have been better, but in all the work situations, my past, bad interactions stopped people approaching me. I, in turn, learned to expect people to stab me in the back.

Do you think I should raise this?

[Solo]

Since these things are still bothering I definitely think it appropriate to raise them at counselling sessions and maybe find some closure to them.

(((ASC)))